Posts Tagged ‘practice’

50 Original Pulp Serial Titles

Saturday, July 3rd, 2010

Tonight we feature 50 original pulp fiction titles. I decided to take a silly, irreverent approach to writing these. I hope you find them entertaining.

  1. The Tale of the Haunted Murderer
  2. Death Follows not the Dead
  3. I Died Four Times Too Many
  4. Midnight’s Midnight
  5. Super Dead
  6. Commander Visceral
  7. The Clone’s Treasure
  8. Princess of Time
  9. The Closet into Nowhere
  10. The Sewer Wolves
  11. Darkly Twisted the Ax
  12. Nightmare of the Pirate King
  13. Comets!
  14. Swiftly Walked the Reaper
  15. Castle Oblivion
  16. Castle of Oblivion
  17. Time Death
  18. The Exploding Gravedigger
  19. Ant Doctor
  20. The Hall of Detective Nobodies
  21. Amazonian Robots of the Third Reich
  22. Dwarves of the Moon
  23. The Red Dog
  24. Time takes not the Train
  25. Hotel Dismemberment
  26. Twenty Four Hours Earlier…from Death!
  27. The Rusted Clock
  28. The Sunken Cafe
  29. Trouble on the Murder Express
  30. I Knew Who I Killed
  31. Werewolf Zeppelin
  32. Mermaid Carnivale
  33. Gypsies Followed Me Home
  34. Breakfast of the Damned
  35. The Cloud of Skulls
  36. Lady in Red, Lady in White
  37. Dappy Dusseldorf in: The Case of the Hoodwinked Habberdasher
  38. The Golden Spider
  39. The Macabre Mansion on Murder Mountain
  40. Butlers Aplenty
  41. Send Flowers to my Mother…I’m Dead
  42. The Dead Don’t Dance Like They Used To.
  43. GORGOK: SWAMP HUNTER
  44. Journey to the Center of the Moon
  45. Not Earth…Moon
  46. Fire From the Clocktower
  47. The Astonishing Amusement Park of Aristotle Armando
  48. The Hills Feel No Pain
  49. The Dumpster into Yesterday
  50. Claws of the Handmaiden!

His name was Ticket Crank

Saturday, November 7th, 2009

A single-minded and fiery diatribe, a smear piece, a small play (in one act). Based on true events.

Dramatis Personae:

Clay, our Hero
Kat, non-impartial observer, wife to Clay
Ticket Crank, an employee, steward of admittance to the Wehrenberg Theater, complete tool
Second Ticket Attendant, a well-mannered employee, a fellow steward.
Couple #2, a young man and woman also attending the theater this evening.
Lords, Gentlemen, Officers, Soldiers, Murderers, Attendants, and Messengers; the Ghost of Banquo, and other Apparitions

Scene: Bloomington, IL, the Galaxy Cine 14. Nighttime.

ACT I SCENE I – The Theater Lobby, wherein our Hero approaches a bay of Fandango Kiosks.

Clay: I say, I believe I will use the auto-mated ticketer to retrieve our tickets for tonight’s performance!

Kat: Yes, let us! I forgot these fine devices were present.

(Clay pushes various sections of the touchscreen. A troubled look appears on his face).

Clay: I find myself befuddled, wife. There is no “Pick Up Ticket” option on the interface! Has this always been the case?

(Couple #2 approaches the neighboring kiosk. They too express discontent and confusion with their kiosk. Clay continues to press buttons on his screen).

Kat: (peering at screen) I do not see it. We have used this device before, have we not?

Clay: Indeed we have used them in the past for ticket retrieval. Let us try again (pushes buttons). Alack, the crux of this infernal device’s operation, to dispense tickets upon evidence of purchase, eludes me this night!

Kat: How unsettling. Let us approach the attendant at the box office window.

(Clay and Kat approach the box office window. They are soon followed by the second couple, who has continued to experience their own difficulties and appear equally displeased. There is a small wait while a crowd slowly gathers).

Ticket Crank: I can help the next person in line over here! (Clay and Kat approach. Ticket Dick switches off his intercom and leaves his post. He returns several beats later).

Clay: Hello, I–

Ticket Crank: (spying the Fandango receipt in Clay’s hand). Give me the credit card you used for purchase, SIR.

Clay: (Caught off guard, fumbles for his card).

Ticket Crank: SIR, your CARD.

(Clay hands the card to the Ticket Crank, who promptly swipes it in his register screen. Two tickets pop out and he hands them to Clay along with his credit card).

Ticket Crank: Here you go, SIR. And just so YOU KNOW, when there is A LINE, please use the KIOSK OVER BY THE DOOR.

Clay: (Visibly unsettled). Yes, about that–

Ticket Dick: HAVE A GOOD DAY SIR.

Clay: Hang on, the machine didn’t–

Ticket Crank: SIR, HAVE A GOOD DAY. ENJOY YOUR SHOW.

Clay: I–

Ticket Crank: SIR.

Clay: (Now visibly angry at this continued treatment) YES THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE YOUR FINE SERVICE THIS EVENING AT THE FABULOUS WEHRENBERG THEATER (Enters theater, Kat follows).

Ticket Crank: WHY THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH, SIR.

Second Ticket Attendant: (handing tickets to the second couple) here you guys go. Sorry about the kiosks. Sometimes they aren’t in the right mode. Enjoy your show.

-fin-

Writing Exercise #4 – Concrete Imagery

Friday, September 18th, 2009

Prompt: In 300 words, write a scene or beat completely in concrete imagery.

* * *

Lightning jumped down from the storming night sky and cracked along the side of the Antelope. The old sloop-of-war tilted leeward, threatening to dump the men down the deck over the scuppers and into the black, icy depths of the sea. Rain hit the deck violently with a split-splat sound as the crew struggled to secure the riggings, the rope pulled taught around the mooring mast, double wound in an attempt to keep hold. The younger boys scurried to close the gates over the lower deck access. A few of the older men hurriedly tried to roll the powder kegs into the Captain’s quarters, the old man himself up at the wheel, grasping it with all his might. His hands were low, down by his hips, yet he never lost his grip. The rain fell sideways–or had the ship almost capsized? Which was vertical, and which was steady?

The ship heaved leeward, and the men fell to the deck. Hail began to fall, pelting them. The sea was angry. Icy water swept over the deck before dropping out the scuppers. The men clung to whatever was in reach–nets, masts, cannons. The Captain braced himself and clutched the wheel, the sound of his laughter carrying over the sound of the storm. The ship settled with a tremendous whump. The men shook from their perches. The rain fell from the sky again, rather than from the windward side. The ship steadied on the angry waves.

The men were quick to resume their work. Powder keys still rolled across the deck—the older men nested them into the Captain’s quarters, before finally slamming the door shut and dropping the lock-plank. The lower-deck access were gated over, and the younger boys hurried to join the other crew sheltered down in the galley. The Captain never left the wheel, all through the storm, as though him and Neptune had some great debate that needed settled before the dawn.

* * *

 

Writing Exercise #3 – Self-reflection, sour and sweet.

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

Prompt: In 500 words, describe a reflective moment through the eyes of a person who has just lost someone significant. Do not mention the loss explicitly–let the loss inform the description, but do not state the loss outright or tell a story.

* * *

The evening light struggled through the woods. It pushed through the rows of oak and elm, over the fallen leaves and dead twigs and the occasional raccoon out gathering. It bounced off the shore of the lake, scattering tiny reflections over the ripples of the cold water. Autumn had arrived early that year, and the lake was already going dormant. Bluegill and bass swam closer to the bottom, seeking out warmth and shelter among the catfish in the sunken cars along the bottom of the lake.

The dock creaked in the wind coming off the lake. A few leaves jumped up from the rake piles, flipping into the air before landing silently on the surface of the water, creating only the slightest ripple. The smell of burning leaves floated down from the pavilions where the groundskeeper was working. Crickets chirped quietly. Cicadas buzzed.

Across the lake small campfires broke out among the trees, campers enjoying the early arrival of the cool weather. Rocks littered the slope from the campgrounds down to the surface of the lake. A few children played along the top of the slope, occasionally throwing small rocks into the lake. Hotdogs and marshmallows roasted over several of the small campfires, the smell rolling down to the kids near the slope, making them run back to their families around the fires.

The trees near the dock shivered as the evening light fell back across the lake, back towards the campfires, and then past them over the woods and finally the horizon. In the dark the cicadas became louder. The air felt numbing. The lake was silent.

Fireflies appeared up around the pavilion. Their tiny lights puncturing the dark, only to disappear a moment later before reappearing again somewhere new. More fireflies appeared in response, gathering until the area around the pavilion appeared to be sparking quietly. Behind the pavilion the parking lot lights kicked on, buzzing loudly and flooding the parking lot with a harsh yellow light. Moths buzzed around the bulbs of the lights, completely lost within a pointless orbit. They stayed close to the light, occasionally a single moth would make an erratic turn and flit off into the dark into parts and fates unknown, never to be singled out again.

The trashcan by the center light pole overflowed with garbage. Fast food bags spilled out the top and loose soda cans rolled around the lot. It was nearly empty, the day campers and hikers had pulled out and fled when the light had begun to fade. A raccoon poked his head out from under the dumpster near the service road entrance. His eyes caught the light for a moment before the whole creature became a silhouette again. A smaller shadow moved behind the raccoon, a young raccoon following its mother. Together they crept along the edge of the parking lot, the mother picking up small pieces of trash and smelling them. The younger raccoon stayed close to the its mother, keeping in her shadow as they walked along the edge of the darkness.

* * *

Writing Exercise #2 – Indirect Discourse

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

Prompt: In 600 words, write a conversation using indirect discourse. Use no quotation marks.

* * *

Howard asked her if she knew Marcy, the chick who lived at the house. Joanna replied that she didn’t, that she had come with her friend Jane, who knew the people having the party. Howard told her that he knew Jane, that they had worked together a few years ago at the same Blockbuster on the far side of town, across from the mall. Joanna asked for a cigarette.

He searched in his jacket pockets for a lighter. She told him she had one that she had picked it up from Jane’s car. Howard said he didn’t know Jane smoked. Joanna puffed on her cigarette quietly, listening to music coming from inside the house. He leaned against the deck railing, looked up at the stars, and asked her where she lived.

She didn’t answer right away, she was focusing on the music. She finally replied she lived in the apartments behind the mall with a friend she had met in the dorms her freshmen year. He didn’t ask about her roommate. He was tapping buttons on his cell phone. He asked for her number. She didn’t respond. She asked what he had said. He repeated his question.

She flicked her cigarette butt off the deck and rattled off a string of numbers. He repeated them as she spoke. She told him her roommate’s name. He said he knew a girl with that name and asked a few questions about her appearance. Joanna described her roommate in more detail: her short brown hair, her brown eyes,  and her heart tattoo on her ankle. Howard said he knew her, that they had a class together his junior year.

Joanna told him about their apartment, how they were subletting it from a friend who had graduated, and how they weren’t allowed to paint, so they were stuck with three black walls with a checkerboard pattern across the top until August at least. Howard asked if they were renting from a friend of his named Chris, but Joanna said the guy’s name was Jon. Howard asked if it was the building for the complex out in the front, but she told him it was the building in the back. Howard lit a cigarette and asked if she wanted a drink from inside. She told him no thanks.

Howard came back a few minutes later with a plastic cup in his hands. He found Joanna and told her the music inside was really loud, but that he liked it. He told her that house bands were usually better than just playing CDs. She told him of a DJ she used to date and how she use to go to his performances in the downtown area. She told Howard about the nightclubs in the downtown area and which ones she liked and which ones were too dark or too smelly. Howard mentioned some of the bars he liked and how he knew a few bands that played the in-town circuit. He mentioned a band he knew was going to be playing that Friday.

Joanna stepped away for a minute to answer a phone call. Howard leaned over the deck railing and puffed on his cigarette. It was down to the filter, so he flicked it into the yard and was lighting another while telling himself that confidence was key to making connections with other people. He saw Joanna back on the deck and asked her if it had been an emergency. She told him it was her roommate and while she was taking out the trash their cat had gotten outside. She told him she had to leave as she was dialing a number on her phone. He told her good luck finding the cat.

* * *